Great movie. Everyone can agree on that. Macaulay Culkin was in his prime. Those were the good ol’days. When I was younger, I used to watch the original Home Alone on repeat. I would slide the trusty VHS in the VCR and, voila, on my screen was Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern idiotically not paying close enough attention to their whereabouts, all while John Candy, representing what it is to be “Wisconsin nice,” travels in a truck with the amazing Catherine O’Hara. 

I was only 3 when the first Home Alone was released, but my childhood was spent being mesmerized by the skillful Kevin McCallister and the bumbling wet bandits.

A recent rewatch of Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York was full of nostalgia and a lot of me saying, “That (insert trap) would kill them! How are they walking? They should be dead!”

Seriously, in the second movie, Kevin throws bricks from the top of a 6-story building at Marv’s forehead. HELLO!? HOW DOES THAT NOT KILL HIM?

Marv doesn’t even bleed! What? I’ve had hangnails that drew more blood than both movies combined. 

Then I think who would I rather be: Harry or Marv? Could I endure a BB gunshot to the face? What about a blow torch lighting the top of my head on fire? Could I survive a nail going through the bottom of my foot? No! I would have cried and limped off 5 minutes into the burglary. 

There are articles outlining the tricks and traps the adolescent pulls on two adult criminals and how the wet/sticky bandits should have died countless times. But (spoiler alert) Harry and Marv are still alive and kicking at the end of both films. And that’s fine. These bad guys aren’t supposed to be disliked enough to realistically die. Sure, they are terrible and stupid, but it’s not that kind of movie. 

After all these years, I still love the films. The first movie is iconic. The second movie is funnier, in my opinion. And both movies have heart. When Kevin sees his mom at the end (of both movies), I’m filled with happiness and the joy of Christmas. Thanks John Hughes and Chris Columbus.